Things I'll Never Say
by demongrl201
Summary: song fic. inspired by Avril Lavigne " Thisgs I'll Never Say" Anya thinks about Xander over the summer of 2002. second attempt at song fic. so please read and review!!


Title: Things I'll Never Say

Summary: Over the 2002 summer Anya comes to think about Xander and realizes she still loves him but is afraid to tell him after what happened with Spike. Inspired by the song " Things I'll Never Say" by Avril Lavigne. Song fic.

Parings: obliviously Xander and Anya

Disclaimer: I don't own anything not Xander, Anya, or the lyrics. 

Feedback: Yes please or e-mail me at Babigrl201@aol.com

A/N: This is my second attempt at a song fic. So please be kind and review me I really want to know what you think. And if you like this check out my other one song fic I'm With You. Some of the lyrics might not be exact so sorry about that.

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Things I'll Never Say

By:

Chelsea

Aka

Demongrl201

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I'm tuggin' at my hair.

I'm pullin' at my clothes.

I'm tryin' to keep my cool I know it shows.

I'm staring at my feet.

My cheeks are turnin' red.

I'm searchin' for the words inside my head....

Anya sat at a small round table at the Bronze by herself. Ever since the gang had found out she was a demon again they had completely ignored by them. Not that she minded but it did get lonely just sitting there nursing her cup of beer or whatever she had. They hadn't noticed she'd been going there every night sometimes they were there and they would look at her and fake smile and wave. Everyone did that except for Xander sometimes he would come over and talk, buy her a drink, and sometimes ask her dance. Xander told her about demons he fought and how work was and how he missed her. She loved him yes she did so much it hurt to be around him and not be his but she couldn't tell him not after what happened he would probably laugh at her or worse reject her. All she wanted was a clear head and as long as those three simple words were in her head it was never going to work. 

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I'm feelin' nervous.

Tryin' to be so perfect.

Cause I know you're worth it.

Your worth it ya.

If I could say what I wanna say.

I say I wanna blow you away....

That Saturday night Anya was there again in the corner alone when the Scooby gang appear. She quickly looked down at her shoes not wanting to make contact of any kind with them. But that didn't last to long when she heard a voice a very familiar voice that made her heart skip a beat.

" Hey. Are your shoes that interesting?" Xander said pulling up a seat and sitting next to her looking at her shoes also.

" Actually yes I find them interesting or at least more interesting than what's going around here." She looked up and stared start into his dark eyes then looked quickly away.

" Ya the Bronze is pretty boring like that" Xander said looking around " Well seeing has how you already have a full drink" he gesturing to the cup in her hands " You wanna skip right to the sweaty part?" He realizes what he just said " Ok that sounded much better in my head but that's not what I meant.." Xander sighs when he sees Anya laugh a bit " you wanna dance with me?"

" Sure it's not like my shoes would mind much" she takes his hand as he leads her out onto the dance floor and the sway to the music his arms encircling her tiny wait and hers lay lazily around his neck.

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I wanna be with you every night.

Am I squeezin you too tight.

If I could say what I wanna see.

I wanna see you go down I wanna be.

Marry me today.

Yes I'm pushing my life away....

Occasionally through the song they would talk a bit about the song and laugh at the couples arguing. Until the song ended and they pulled away.

" Not that I'm pushing my luck but maybe you-" Xander was cut off my Anya's hand gripping his arm and turning him around quickly " What are you doing?"

Anya hid behind Xander carefully " You see that man right there?" She whispered in his ear and pointed with her left pointer finger.

"The guy that looks like a horse?" Xander asked confused.

"Yes. He's been bothering me all night until you came and I've told him I'm not interested but he keeps on assisting that-" Anya turned him around again when the guy started walking over " Dance with me!" She demanded towards Xander.  
" What? Anya stop being ridiculous" Xander said looking at the guy.

" Please! You owe me something for leaving me so dance!" Anya said as she started fast dancing with him.

Xander gave up and sighed and yet again put his arms around her and spun her around catching her then dipping her. He had forgotten how light Anya was and how could a dancer she was. Once the guy had turned around she stopped and let out a breath of air that was in there for awhile.

" Thanks" she said and pulled him into a tight hug but then let go very quickly and smiled sheepishly at him.

" Ok now you owe me something" he said smiling at her.

" Xander this better not be something s-" Anya said but was interrupted by him.

"I want another slow dance" he said smiling his Xander smile.

Anya relaxed and nodded and they started to dance.

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With these things I'll never say.

They don't do me any good.

It's just a waste of time.

What use is it to you what's on my mind.

If it ain't comin' out.

We're not going anywhere...

Anya rested her head on his shoulder and inhaled his sent, which was so refreshing and comforting to her. As the song ended they still found themselves together not wanting to part.

" Xander?" Anya said but regretted as soon as the word came out.

" Yeah?" He said in her ear that sent a chill down her spine.

" I'm sorry" she said.

" For what?" He knew what she was talking about but he wanted to hear it from her own voice.

" With everything that happened between Spike and me. I didn't mean to it just happened so quickly we were talking and then there was the booze then the sex" Anya felt him tense under the word sex.

" I forgive you" Xander said softly.

" Really?" Anya wasn't expected that she was expecting another big lecture from him.

" Yes" he whispered.

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So why can't I just tell you that I care.

Cause I'm feelin' nervous.

Tryin' to be so perfect.

Cause I know your worth it your worth it ya.

If I could say what I wanna say.

I say I wanna blow you away...

It felt as if the whole world had stopped right at that moment and they were the only two in the room. He could feel her heart racing and his was too he had never had these kind of feelings before well with her he had but it felt like forever since they had done this.

"There's one more thing I haft to say" Anya said she was so nervous but she wasn't one to keep a secret.

" Talk away" he said hoping it wasn't a rejection.

" I love you" Anya said and she looked down at the ground.

Xander felt as if everything that had gone bad between them two was now erased and he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

" I love you too" Xander whispered and kissed her forehead.

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I wanna be with you every night.

Am I squeezin' you too tight.

If I could say what I wanna see.

I wanna see you go down I wanna be.

Marry me today. Yes I'm pushing my life away.

These things I'll never say....

Anya titled her head upwards and their lips met in the most passionate kiss ever. She melted into his arms and her tongues entwined. They pulled apart for air and they both had sparkles in their eyes. And we all know what happened next.

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What's wrong with my song.

These words keep slipping away.

Look I got nothing to say.

Cause I'm feelin' nervous.

Tryin' to be so perfect cause I know your worth it your worth it ya.

Yes I'm pushing my life away these things I'll never say.

If I could say what I wanna say I say I wanna blow you away.

I wanna be with you every night am I squeezing you to tight.

If I could say wanna I wanna see I wanna see you go down.

I wanna be marry me today. Yes I'm pushing my life away.

These things I'll never say.

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End file.
